cat barks.: May 2010

Monday, May 31, 2010

come to this... go to that

recently i've been feeling like i've stretched myself thin. coming and going and living out of my bags... home seems to be a distant feeling. even there i'm stressed over little things. stressed about what's happening next week... what i need to buy next. where is the money coming and going to? there are so many people getting married and having kids in my life now and truly i am not ready to be there yet. in some ways i am jealous that these people i know are able to be ready and make those commitments.

lots of things go into the process of getting married now though. the better the friend the more the effort you'll have to put into it. not like you're a bridesmaid and you're obligated through a direct role, but there are so many events. maybe i need to just take a step back and not be involved. but i hope that the day i'm ready to jump these same people will be here for me.

however on another note. what about these lifelong friends, the ones you've put the effort into before you even knew what that meant. all of sudden they forget to call you... you're unimportant now. they have someone else...whether it's a new best friend or boyfriend or girlfriend. remember when you always thought that they would be the one on your side on your big day? now i don't even know when they are in town. i don't know... it's all just kind of lame.